...because everyone needs help thinking correctly

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

History in the making

Oh and the new Thom Yorke album sucks. I'd put up songs from it, but it sucks. And nobody reads this. Do yourself a favor and listen to Kid A or Amnesiac instead of ever trying this one out.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Loose Dimes

Loose Fur - "Hey Chicken"

Quite possibly the finest hour of the Colbert Report

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

The Future of American Music

The future is bright, my friends.

The dubbing will be synced up in the future, too.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Caffeine YouTube

Wilco on Conan from Friday (incredible):

Late World with Zach Galifianakis (incredible):

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

"I'm a National Failure" - David Blaine

(photo courtesy of G. Paul Burnett/The New York Times)

David Blaine had a two hour television special on ABC last night. Just so you know, two (2) hours is one hundred and twenty (120) minutes or seven thousand and two hundred (7,200) seconds. I've watched feature length films that have taken less time and thoroughly enjoyed myself.

The premise of David Blaine's special was that he has been submerged in a spherical water tank for over seven (7) days or one hundred and sixty eight (168) hours, or ten thousand and eighty minutes (10,080), or six hundred and four thousand eight hundred (604,800) seconds -- if you're keeping score at home. The water was 96 degrees and apparently Mr. Blaine, a "magician" who has developed a forte of just doing stupid shit for an extended period of time and expecting people to be impressed and give him attention, had been feeling serious pain. ABC was sure to show us his horrifyingly wrinkled feet and hands to let us know that this wasn't "magic," rather it was an attention starved dope's attempt to further his reputation and career as, well, an attention starved dope.

The event was hosted by none other than ESPN's Stuart Scott, or the guy who has beaten his own catch phrases (that were never particularly clever to being with) to the same dead state as his right eye.

Anyway, the "stunt" that Blaine was performing was that more water would be added to the sphere that he's been living in, drowning him while he's handcuffed. Blaine would then remove the handcuffs from both his wrists and ankles and remain submerged under the water for nine (9) minutes, breaking the world record of 8:58 by two (2) seconds.

I should take this moment to point out that I don't usually care what Blaine does, and I usually assume his stunts to be both an illusion -- like much of his magic tricks -- and something that nobody would think of doing anyway because they're just not very interesting. I didn't think much else about this particular stunt, however the possibility of Blaine dying or getting seriously injured was present, so I sat through the grueling flashbacks of Blaine's training and Scott's grating commentary.

Well, Blaine did something abnormal, alright. He failed.

After about six and a half (6.5) minutes, Blaine began to struggle with his handcuffs and looked as though he were straining for air. Soon thereafter, emergency help jumped into the tank and helped Blaine undo his leg cuffs and escape from the drowning at 7:08, nearly two (2) minutes short of his goal and the record.

Now this was great, I saw this dope who nearly killed himself on live television fail at his mission and then completely break down and tell the pathetic crowd of what looked like thousands (1000s) that he "loved them" for their support.

After watching Blaine (a man who probably knew he wouldn't get the money to perform another one of these unnecessary spectacles) break down and struggle, the night was highlighted by Stuart Scott's attempted recovery. The following is a quote by Mr. Scott several minutes after Blaine's failing:

"While Blaine did not achieve what he had set out to do, people watched him."

That's right, Stu, people watched him. He can tell his grandkids about how he failed at something he had trained for months, wasted and wrinkled away in water for seven days to do, but people watched him.

The next time something bad happens to you in life, just think about what Lil' Stuey would say. A new mantra could be WWSSS? (What Would Stuart Scott Say?). If you fail a test, tell your parents that you may have failed but at least your teacher graded it. If you lose your job, tell your wife that you may have been fired but you do know how to breathe. If you rob a bank and get caught, tell the police that you may have broken the law but at least other people have money.

Perhaps Scott couldn't think of what to say because he's usually reading off a teleprompter at Sportscenter, but he wasn't done. As the credits rolled and the spectacle's coverage drew to a close, Scott left us with one final thought. Perhaps questioning his own role in covering the event, or maybe his very presence in the world, Scott muttered frustratingly, "Seven-OOO-Eight (7:08)."

And then "Grey's Anatomy" came on and life could go on.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006


It's now May, and the Summer is just 'round the corner, which means one thing: Lots of awesome concerts. Within the course of one day (yesterday), several huge acts announced at least part of their respective summer tours. These huge acts include Sonic Youth, Radiohead, Wilco which you (or I) can throw on top of free shows all over the New York metropolitan area all summer long including Eels, The Hold Steady, Yo La Tengo, Son Volt, Super Furry Animals, Belle and Sebastian, Mates of State, Okkervil River, and Ted Leo among many others that I haven't taken the time to look up or remember yet. If I can go to half of those shows, it will be a great summer, but I'm planning on shooting the moon this time.

As for the fantastic picture above: if you couldn't already tell, that's Wilco with Christopher Walken (in a tuxedo, no less). In honor of their new tour, and the fact that I somehow overlooked that they played in the area not two weeks ago (I went to a terrible Yankees/Orioles game instead -- great decision!) I'm going to treat you to two live recordings of their new song "Walken." The download was recorded at their show on September 10, 2005 and the video is from their April 21, 2006 performance that I intelligently ignored. Both renditions are insanely catchy. Nels Cline is an excellent addition to this band, and hopefully he'll come through on the album like he does with his lap steel solo.

Wilco - Walken (9/10/05)

On top of all of this, Neil Young's new political record is now streaming online, you can listen to the whole thing for free.

He's also touring with Crosby, Stills and Nash, which I'm also going to. It's going to be a good summer for music, if nothing else.

Monday, May 01, 2006


There is a new, relatively unknown artist who is coming out with a new album. Sure, people might know OF him, but they don't know much ABOUT him. Some might say that he has only been able to spread his art because of who he knows, or that he's slept his way to this level. Well, I think his art speaks for itself, and once you watch this, I think it's safe to say no matter who you are, you will agree. He's also a very considerate individual, as he does some sign language and lip syncing for the deaf people that might be watching. Reeeeaaallll simple.

We like?

On a serious note though, I found a pretty sweet live Fiery Furnaces video on YouTube. I personally love all of their stuff -- even Rehearsing My Choir, the album where Olga Sarantos, Eleanor and Matt Friedberger's grandmother sings -- but I can understand why some people wouldn't. Well, seeing them live is a completely different, yet equally astonishing experience. Apparently Matt hasn't been playing keyboard of late, taking the guitar instead, adding to more rocking out. This video is from Cornell University earlier this year, "Single Again":